I've felt lately that even though we have freedom in Christ to choose which paths we walk, it's not always up to us to make those choices.
And once we make those choices,( the ones that I'm not sure are actually ours to begin with ) everything changes .
Like the disciples who were fishing when Jesus walked by them. He commanded them to follow and they just did.
I've been thinking about it lately, about the choice they made to follow Jesus. Like they fully chose. They stopped what they were doing, and they followed Him. They just literally followed Jesus. Left behind their friends , families and just followed.
But at the same time, did they really have a choice? Could they help themselves ? Could they have said no ?
I made a big choice recently.
But I kindda feel like it wasn't me who made it. Like I physically couldn't have made a different choice. Like God knows that left to my own devices, ill chicken out and take the wimpy choice, so He is patient with me and brings me to a place where I actually can't say no. Even if I tried.
So here it is ... Wait for it , wait for it ..... lol ( you guys know me never dramatic !!) The choice I made but not sure was actually my choice to make is....
I'm going to Africa !!!!!
And then Asia . But Africa first . One. Step . At. A .Time .
Nairobi, Kenya - actually the slum called Kibera.
I am officially taking a year off from my job to pull a disciple move . There's more paperwork involved now then there would have been back then ... But you get the point.
I'll get to experience two different missions experiences. But that's not why I'm going ... Not the organizations themselves , though they do wonderful work. I'm going because I know without a doubt The Lord is leading me closer to His heart. He's asking me to trust Him, His plan and His character ...and let him lead me. I am confident I'll get to know my god in a more intimate way as I walk closely with Him.
And it's my prayer that maybe people can see a bit of Him in me in the process .
I can't wait . I think about it and I can't stop my heart from pounding . And I'm so scared I feel at times like I might pass out . Or barf but that doesn't seem super ladylike.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful because although I will continue to mess this up .... ( the disciples did a TONNE )... And I don't really know what I'm doing ... Like at all ....
I know without a doubt I'm following Him.
Much more to come my friends ... Love you all ! Xoxo